The Cast List 

Spaniel - that's me. I'm the one with Vertigo.

Badger - that's my other half.

Dave - that's my brother

Lara - That's my sister

Simon - that's Lara's boyfriend.

BastardChris - that's my ex-husband

Arthur - that's Badger's Dad

Audrey - That's Badger's Dad's other half

Madame De Douche (MDD) - That's Badger's mother. Don't even get me started.

Eric - That's MDD's partner.

Chavboy and Twinkletoes - That's Badger's brother and his beauty therapist girlfirend. They make a lovely couple.

WoB - That stands for Whore of Babylon. She's a good friend of mine who betrayed me bitterly with her generally lax attitude to fidelity and her distinctly absent morals. I am still friends with her in a way, but things have never been the same since the betrayal.(You can tell its a long, complex story, can't you??).

Lisa - that's my friend who looks and acts like Vikki Pollard. She is now pregnant by some low-life waster. Stop Press.... Baby Tyrone was born on 29th July 06. He has two middle names. Poor child.